I don’t want to start a fight with anyone, but there might be someone who wants to punch me after reading this title!  Hopefully I can explain myself well enough to calm anyone down, haha.

“I’m enough”… You’ve said it, I’ve said it, but what does it actually mean?

Does it even help?  What does it help with??  Is there something different to say that is more effective?

Let’s talk!

I have told myself so many times that I’m enough, and yes, it has helped me feel good inside.  I really like this movement of self-acceptance going around, and as I have been digging into my soul lately (with the help of my super awesome Life Coach, Lori), this is not something we talked about, but in doing my “homework exercises” I found myself wanting to say it –“I’m enough… I’m good enough”, but it just did not feel right.  Want to know what felt right??

“I’m equal”.

I am equal.  That is the most true statement!  I am equal to you and everybody else on this planet.  I am equal to ALL of God’s children.  I am equal to Sandra Bullock!  I am equal to the alcoholic who mistreats their children.  I am equal.

Try saying it to yourself and tell me how it feels.  First say “I’m enough”.  Now say “I’m equal”.

(…no, I literally meant for you to say it out loud …right now…)

Let’s try again, say this out loud ***“I’m enough! …… I’m equal!”***

Nice job!  What do you think?  Do you notice a difference?  I do!!

Or are you wondering why it even matters?  What difference does it make?

Go back to “I’m good enough”… good enough for what??  What are you telling yourself that you’re good enough for?  God’s love?  Others’ acceptance?  Life??

If something is “good enough”, then that implies that “not good enough” exists.

For example, when a professor gives a project assignment to his class, he states his expectations of what he wants, and whoever’s project meets those requirements will be deemed “good enough”.  Of course there is room for EVERY project to be good enough (as is the case with all mankind), but there is also potential for some or all of them to not make the cut and be declared “not good enough” (which is definitely not so for any of God’s children).  Is there even one child of God who is not good enough?  No.

Even those who do not keep God’s commandments fall under the umbrella of His LOVE!!  He loves ALL of His children EQUALLY.  Everyone is equal.  You are equal.  I am equal.

Now, let’s take a look at some definitions.

Enough:  To the required degree of extent.

Equal:  Being the same in quantity, size, degree or VALUE!  (Emphasis added).

Which one are you?  Are you meeting any requirements to be deemed “enough”?  (What exactly is required??)

Or are you the “same in value”, thus being equal…??

Did you notice that both definitions use the word “degree”?  One has a required degree, the other states that the degree is the same.

Now if we look at the definition of “degree”, the two that made the most sense are:

1 –Social or official rank.

2 –The amount, level, or extent to which something happens or is present.

Is your “rank” enough?  Or is your rank equal?  Is the extent of your mere “presence” enough?  If so, what requirements did you meet for it to be so?  Or is your presence indeed EQUAL?  …the same value, with zero requirements.

Put yourself in an imaginary room with a bunch of people.  They could be anybody –family, friends, celebrities, unhoused people, some prominent political or church leaders –just get a group of people.  Mix it up a bit for fun.

Now tell me, who is the most special person in the room?  In other words, whose presence is of a higher level?  And what requirements did they meet in order to obtain that rank?

If you actually named a person, just smile and laugh to yourself as you now say “oh yeah…. Of course we are all EQUAL!!”  Even if President Russel M. Nelson was in your room, he is no more special than you.  He is well known, and has been of service to God for many years, but his worth is equal to yours.  You are both precious children of God.

There is no such thing as being enough, because you are equal.

One might argue with me and tell me not to get hung up on the words.  But how can I not, when I know how powerful our words are?  The whole idea of even saying a mantra is because of the power in words!  With two VERY different definitions, I am convinced that it matters which one you say.

But even then, it was not the WORDS that I was originally getting hung up on, it was the FEELING they came with.  As I mentioned above, I wanted to say “I’m enough”, but being in a state of high awareness, everything inside me told me that wasn’t what I needed to say.  The thought of saying “I’m enough” did not satisfy my inner desire to connect with truth and healing.  So I closed my eyes and searched my soul, and when I found the words “I’m equal” they fit like the last piece of a jigsaw.

To be fair, I do think there is good to come from saying “I’m enough”, but I have learned it’s just the first step.  When I initially began my journey of self-love, that’s what felt right and seemed to help.  And I put my heart into singing along to Kelly Clarkson’s “Broken and Beautiful” when she says “I’m phenomenal and I’m enough –I don’t need you to tell me who to be”!

It helped me to have confidence in who I am.  It gave me permission to like myself.  It allowed me to relax and forget what I learned in middle school –which was that I had to be a certain way to fit in, and I must refrain from being my true weird self so that I could blend in with the crowds.  Being “enough” helped me feel like I was acceptable to society just as I am.

But I realize now that it was only a band-aid.  It helped the symptoms feel better, but did not address the root of the problem.  Because “being enough” did not address everyone else properly.  Let me explain.

Another thing I learned in middle school was that “all students are not created equally”.  In my opinion, I was not cool but I was not the lowest of the totem pole.  I put myself in the middle.  And in the middle I stayed for the next 20+ years.  When I said that I was “enough”, I internally told myself that I was just as good as everyone who I ranked above me.  And that helped me feel good about myself.

But I had a heartbreaking moment when I realized that because I had an invisible social-meter going on, always comparing myself to others, that I was subconsciously saying that I thought I was better than some people.  If I was in the middle, then people were below me!  And that meant that I thought I was better than them.

I literally cried when I realized how I had been living.  I have always loved other people whether I knew them or not.  I don’t like making fun of people, and I try to lift others up.  I had always thought of myself as a kind person and for the most part tried to give others the benefit of the doubt in any situation.

My vision of who I was, and what I stood for was NOT that of someone who thinks she’s better than ANYone.

And yet…

I had been placing myself above others for years.  The guy begging for money on the corner.  He was below me.  The mom with a perma-scowl on her face, screaming at her kids in Wal-Mart.  Definitely at the bottom.  Even people who I considered annoying, they got put down there too.

It was never a conscious thought of “I am better than them”, but rather a subtle feeling inside that made me feel secure about myself (and likewise, I would feel insecure about myself around those I placed “above me”).

Looking up AND down the social-status-o-graph is what addressed the heart of the matter.  I could never love myself fully as long as I was looking down on others, for they were just a reflection of the insecure parts of me.

You see, I would feel horrible after yelling at my children, so when I saw someone do it in public, that made me feel good about myself thinking “well, at least I’m not that bad!”.

I’m also a bit of an odd duck, so when I saw someone who I thought was more peculiar than I, it would make me feel secure to know that there are others weirder than me!

Again, I am just NOW putting words and conscious thought to all this.  At the time of the interactions, it was simply a discrete feeling.

It is more therapeutic for me to think of myself as equal to someone in the slums than it is for me to say I’m equal to a celebrity.  In a way, it reminds me of when Jesus washed His disciple’s feet.

When I go to a lowly person in my mind, and say that I am equal to them, it humbles me and lifts me at the same time.  Then I take that person and go to someone who would have been thought of as “higher”, and say “we are all 3 equal”.  I feel like this addresses the heart of the matter.  No one is classified as enough or not enough.  We are all beautifully equal in value.

You are equal to everyone around you.  You are equal to every person in the whole world.  God loves you the same as He loves me and everyone else!

You are equal.  I don’t how else I can say it… I hope with all my heart you understand that your value is not determined by those around you, but rather is divinely within you.  See yourself as you truly are.  A child of God… equal to every other child of God on this planet.

Feeling this from the core of your soul to the bottom of your heart will bring more freedom than you can imagine.

Seeing yourself as equal to all, also means seeing others as equal to you.  This opens your heart to so many new opportunities.  From relationships you can have with others to a whole new life experience that comes from no longer worrying what others think of you.  Being free from the trap of caring how others view you is more refreshing than jumping in a lake on a sweltering summer day!

May we all treat ourselves and others as equals because we understand our divine heritage, is my humble prayer…

I’d love to know, does this resonate with you?

I love you!

Kayleen

SDG

If you like the new perspective given in this post, you may really enjoy the ideas given here.  Never tell yourself that you “should do” anything again. 7 Things The Church Says We Should Do.

If you like taking care of yourself, check out this list of 27 Simple Ways To Rejuvenate Yourself.