Have you ever caught yourself thinking one way about something, only to realize that most people don’t see it that way?  This happened to me, and I am excited to share what I learned from it!

October is upon us!  For me, that means 4 birthdays inside my house, plus 3 more of other family members!

it also means crunchy leaves, sweaters, and . . . . . Halloween!

I have always loved Halloween! 

As I’ve told people that through the years, I realize now that I don’t think they understood me.  See, I was talking to a friend one day and we both said how much we love Halloween.  She was so excited to meet a fellow Halloweener and said “because my family thinks I’m messed up and distorted for loving all the creepiness, haha”.

Well… that caused me to do some thinking because I do NOT like all the scary things about Halloween.

What do I like? 

I like candy corn, friendly witches, cute ghosts, and dressing up!

Send me off to a Halloween carnival with bobbing for apples and donuts on a string!

Pumpkins, trick-or-treating, parties, and fun!

Give me a G-rated haunted house and I’ll be set!

This is the Halloween that I love, and I’ve never considered the fact that most people don’t single it out the same way I do.

Sure, I’ve always been aware of the “walking dead” side of Halloween, and have dabbled in participating in it here and there.

One time I had some ghosts and goblins adorning my front yard, and every time I came home after dark, I was seriously spooked to have to walk past everything.  I did not enjoy that and decided to get rid of all those decorations.

I’ve been to haunted houses, watched scary movies, and was left with disturbing thoughts for weeks afterward!  That kind of stuff messes with my mind and I have never enjoyed it.

As I’ve grown up in a world that consists of all aspects of Halloween (creepy and cutesy), I have subconsciously selected only the latter as my “whole picture”.

I did not realize that I was separating the parts I wanted from those I didn’t, and calling it complete.

And it has opened my eyes up to the fact that if we want, we can consciously do this with ANYTHING in life.

Nothing is black or white –all or nothing.

We can pick the parts of anything that we like, leave out of our minds the parts we don’t like, and claim that we “love” the thing!

For example, let’s talk about winter since it’s right around the corner.

I don’t like being cold, therefore, I have always told myself that I don’t like winter.

Then I did a cool exercise (found here) that helped me realize that I DO like winter!  I actually really enjoy the time to slow down and snuggle up!  I like the fact that it keeps me in the house more and I can get some serious cleaning and organizing done.

No, I still don’t like the aspect of being freezing cold, but let’s just compare that to the “scary parts” of Halloween, which I happily dismiss.

I can tell people that I love winter!  And in my mind that would mean that I’m only focusing on the parts I like, and ignoring the rest.  If people take it to mean that I love the cold, then they will be as wrong as they are when they think I like creepy Halloween!

I think you would be surprised to realize how often you subconsciously pick and choose the parts you want, and leave the rest (being fully aware that more exists, just choosing not to focus on it).

How about Christmas -isn’t it a pretty stressful time of year and financially straining?

What?  You don’t think of it that way?  You’d rather spotlight how wonderful and joyous it is??!  Yeah, I thought so!  You decide what you like, take it and ignore the rest, and declare that you love Christmas!

Same goes for every single thing you love!  There are pros and cons to literally EVERYTHING!  So if you say that you love something, you’re more than likely subconsciously focusing on the pros and disregarding the cons.

My question for you is:

Do you think you could do this on purpose?

When that annual event comes around –be it spring cleaning or fundraising, can you pick the parts you love and focus on only them?

Could they become so big in your eyes that it feels like you’re seeing the “whole picture”?

When someone brings to your attention the parts you don’t like, could you shrug them off saying “Oh, I don’t like those parts about it”, and go on loving the thing?

Do you think you could?

There’s only one way to find out –try it!

You don’t have much to lose.  If it doesn’t work, you’ll be in the same boat as before.  But if it DOES work, well… it could be completely life changing.

Try it on something small first to practice changing your thoughts.

• When your neighbor brings you those brownies with nuts on top, tell yourself that you LOVE them! Then go scrape off the nuts, like it’s just part of the process, and enjoy a wonderful treat!  (For the record, I actually like nuts!)
• Wake up and say “I love spiders!” Aren’t they such handy little bug catchers?  Gol, I’m so glad they are all over my garden!  (Currently dismissing the part about when they come in my house, or creep up on me!  This one is going to take me a lot of work to truly see the pros as the “whole picture”.)
• Time to run some errands?  Put on a podcast or audio book while you drive around!  Make that your focus, and you will soon be begging for more places to go.  (Leave the kids home too!)  Same thing goes for washing dishes, folding laundry, cleaning bathrooms, etc.  It’s all about having something interesting to listen to!  Just wait until you have the opportunity to declare “I love cleaning!” and see the faces on everyone who thinks you’re crazy, haha!

Hopefully those ideas can get you started to personalize your experience!

Remember, the only thing that can stop you from changing your thoughts is yourself.

You are in charge.

You are in command.

You get to choose what you focus on.

You get to choose what path you take.

You.

You.

You.

No one can make you think, feel, say, or do anything,

It’s all you.

You can disregard this message if you want to.

You can do whatever you want!

That’s the cool part about life, is that we all have the freedom to CHOOSE for ourselves!

And when one choice fails us, we can choose another and another until we are satisfied.

I am going to make the choice to try and persuade you to “pick and choose the parts you want and ignore the rest” because I have benefited from doing so, and I want to share the delicious fruit that comes from that action.

So what do ya say?  Are you in?

I love you either way!

And I hope you have a fantastic week.

Thanks for being here.

Kayleen

SDG

Remember nothing is good or bad, everything is balanced.  Here are 5 tips to help you when you’re feeling out of balance.

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