“Our realization of what is most important in life goes hand in hand with gratitude for our blessings”. -Thomas S. Monson

“Both abundance and lack of abundance exist simultaneously in our lives, as parallel realities. It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend… when we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that’s present,…the wasteland of illusion falls away and we experience heaven on earth”. -Sarah Ban Breathnach

Can I just say that again? When we choose not to focus on what is missing, but are grateful for the abundance that we have, we experience heaven on earth!

Yes. Yes! And YES!! I have experienced this! And it. Is. TRUE!

It is all the hope and desire in me to properly relay on paper the feelings I have about this! But if all else fails, please know this, that gratitude does lift you. Gratitude will change you. Gratitude puts your heart at peace and rest.

Gratitude. Is. Magical.

I know this because I experienced it firsthand without even trying to.

In 2017, my husband and I decided it was time to sell our house and try out something new. We eventually found a good fit for our family. Such a cute little house it was. We didn’t move in right away. No, we just wanted to do a few things to make it our own before settling in.

Those few things turned into a lot of things; we literally ripped the whole house apart, to remodel and update it. As a result, we were unable to move in as soon as I had anticipated. And as is such a common case… Christmas was on the line. I wanted to be in by December first! (Word of advice, never set Christmas as a deadline for moving into a new home. Just get comfy where you’re at, and plan on Christmas the next year in your new home. Just sayin…).

I didn’t care if the house wasn’t ready or perfect for us to live there yet, I was willing to live in the construction zone mess. I just wanted in! But I couldn’t exactly force my way into living in a home that did not have a flushing toilet. I mean, I could have, but…. yeah.

Every day after breakfast, I’d pack my boys up and head to the house to work on one of the many projects. Actually, my projects were few. I limited myself to painting and…..uh…. well, that’s pretty much it. I painted. My husband was the main project doer, along with many other helpful hands for which I am so grateful for!

But regardless of what I was or wasn’t doing, I was consumed with the fact that our house was a disaster, and we were not moving in anytime soon. Every day, I felt overwhelmed. Annoyed. Frustrated. Grrrrrrrrrr!

But every night, something magical happened.

As usual, I’d kneel to say my nightly prayer, and I would automatically go into thankful mode. I’d thank Heavenly Father for alllllll my blessings, and alllllll He’s done for me and my family, specifically giving us our house. I loved our house and I was so grateful for it. I would thank Him from the depths of my soul for it. I was extremely thankful for everything that we were able to do to it! I was excited for the new look that it would have, and just beyond appreciative for the time and resources we had to work on it.

I felt joy, love, peace, excitement, serenity, and happiness. The very thing that caused me stress and headaches in the day, I found myself full of excitement and bliss over it because of the gratitude I felt. I was just so in love with our house, and was truly so thankful for it and for all the projects we were able to do.

Without fail, every day I was overwhelmed and frustrated. And every night, I was joyously calm and serene.

It was so interesting to personally feel the difference –back and forth between feeling overwhelmed and then grateful; overwhelmed and then grateful. Not consciously realizing what was going on, but just experiencing the contrast.

It felt so strange. They are 2 opposite feelings that cannot exist in a person at the same time. Kind of like faith and fear, you cannot have both in the same moment. It only took me like 2 weeks (I guess I’m a slow learner) to finally realize that if I just focus on gratitude throughout the day as well as the evening, this whole experience can be an exciting joyful process 100% of the time!

I love the old saying that the glass is either ½ empty or ½ full, depending on how you look at it. If you’re grateful to have any amount of water at all, you’ll see it as ½ full. And I truly believe that there is gratitude to be found in any trial we go through.
Not in the sense that we have this trial going on over here, but we have so many blessings over there. I’m talking about the very thing that is causing you grief or pain, –there is something to be thankful for in that.

I think that the absolute hardest thing that a person could ever go through would be the loss of a loved one. And as I thought of this, I thought, where is that gratitude in that? My thoughts were turned toward a former co-worker who lost his 2 year old daughter to a brain tumor which she had fought most of her life. When he returned to work, I was in tears as I expressed my sorrow for him, and I was amazed at his reply. He said, “I’m just so grateful for the time I was able to have with her, and to be able to get to know her and see her personality bloom.”

I do not know the pain and suffering that floods ones soul when a loved one is lost. I can’t imagine trying to live a routine life with such an enormous hole in your heart. I’m absolutely not saying that if you just find something to be grateful for, then you won’t feel sad anymore. But I would sensitively hope that it could maybe help a little, even if to just get you through one day.

Another mother who lost her son has felt the blessing of intensely loving her 3 other adult children, by gathering with them more often and welcoming them into her home, no matter their beliefs or lifestyles. Because of the pain and heartache she felt from the loss of her son, she has a stronger, unconditional relationship with her other children today. Does this mean that she’s glad that he died? No. It means that she has something to be grateful for because of that very trial.

Blessings and opportunities for gratitude are everywhere. We just need to open our hearts and be willing to see them. Whether our troubles are life changing, or daily frustrations, gratitude is a tool that is always available to help lift us.

I remember a time when I was striving so hard, but to no avail to keep my house clean. With small children making messes behind me, it was like stringing pearls with no knot at the end. I was feeling especially overwhelmed one day, and thought I just could not go on like this any longer. I leaned on the back of a chair and wished to cry. I didn’t actually cry, but I tried to. All the frustration was there, I just had to let it come out my eyes. Suddenly, in the midst of feeling sorry for myself, I remembered a family in the recent news that had just lost a daughter in a car accident. I instantly perked up, lost all sense of self-pity, and said, out loud, –I’m good! And I was good. I went on to finish cleaning as though I had just come home from a vacation on the beach.

Basically, the idea of the message was… “the reason why my house is a mess is because I have my children, alive and well!” I will take the mess, and I will keep my kids!

The blessing to be grateful for is IN the very thing that I was frustrated about. I could take it further and focus on our abundance of toys and laundry! The wealth of toys strewn about, give me a reason to smile and be grateful that my kids have many resources to play and use their imaginations. And the piles of laundry are a reminder of how plentiful our closets are! It may take some thinking, but gratitude can always be found in any hardship.

“Those who thank God even in trials, turn the burden into blessings. So keep your faith close to your heart and God will provide.” –Anonymous.

Heavenly Father will show you your blessings in any struggle, if you will ask Him.

This poem says it all:

And I’ll say this again, when we choose not to focus on what is missing, but are grateful for the abundance that we have, we experience heaven on earth!

When have you experienced feeling grateful in and because of a trial? Is this a new concept for you? Please share your thoughts and feelings in the comments! Or, as always, message me directly for more personal conversations.

I love you and wish you the best!!

Kayleen

SDG